Since then he has had multiple seizures and has suffered a stroke. Not to mention the paralysis of his right side and Aphasia. My dad can't even have a conversation with me. He used to be a college history professor and a damn good one at that. And taking away his ability to teach and speak is like cutting off a professional piano players fingers. Its total crap and totally unfair. My dad is the kindest, most thoughtful, and brilliant man that I know and he did not deserve this; no one does.
After numerous hospital stays, Chemotherapy, radiation, surgery after surgery, hospice, a feeding tube, paralysis, aphasia, and therapy, its sometimes hard to remember the man he used to be. I forget what his voice sounded like, I can't remember his scent. And I have to look at old photos just to remember what he used to look like.
He now requires around-the-clock care and assistance walking and doing other everyday things. Luckily my mom is one of the strongest and most courageous woman on this earth. She is the best wife/caregiver that my dad could ever ask for.
|The day Dad met M. He had to wait almost 2 weeks after she was born to meet her.|
Its hard not to think about the Papa he could have been. He is only 55 and can't get down on the floor to play with his grand-babies or take them for ice cream or read them stories. I can't even image what he must feel inside. The pain of missing out and not being able to live life like he wants. I miss him. I miss my dad! I miss the man he used to be, the man I wish he was today. I really hate cancer!